Our captain is back.

The captain of our ship is back on board.
Goro is relieved of his duty as "captain in charge" and has gone to sleep early. 
The captain may not stand on watch all the time, but as long as he is on board he has the sole responsibility for his ship and all on board.  Something Goro takes very seriously.  He has been on duty, even in his sleep, for 24 days.
I am first mate on this ship, what ever captain is on board.  My position and rank does not change but it is good to have the "real" captain on board again.
The captain is tired and happy to be back on his own ship. 

He has been away for 24 days on a different ship. 
He has survived earthquakes and  tsunami. 
He has seen disaster, devastation and despair. 
He tells us stories of ports that are no longer there, of big boats that seemed to be tossed on shore by a big hand, of debris, such as roofs and walls floating out at sea.  He tells stories about hungry people who come to have a meal on board.  He tells us stories of people who haven`t been able to take a bath for way too long and how they come on board totake a bath.  He tells us about how survivors come back to town to look for their old jobs and do not even find the building where the company used to be....

Now he is tired of telling stories.  He is watching "God Father" on TV while the second mate sleeps with his head on the captains shoulder.
The third mate, still a newcomer on board, is on watch together with me....

From left to right: Goro,  third mate Mr. Gibson and second mate Ryusei.

Soon we will let go ancher and leave the angels to watch over us and our ship, while we go to sleep.

Graduations and new starts....

The air is mild tonight.  Very mild and springlike. 
Children have been playing outside in the streets all day.
It is Tuesday.  Usually, there are no children playing in the streets on a Tuesday. 
But right now, most of the children and students are enjoying their holiday. 
The big holiday between two school years. 
The only holiday without any homework they have to do.  Yes, they have a lot of schoolwork they have to do during the rest of their school breaks.  But not during this one.

Spring is the time for graduations and new starts in Japan.  The school year ends in March and starts in April.
I remember when my best friend and I became junior high-school students.      She changed to a different school, started wearing a blue uniform, she became busy with her compulsory sport club after normal school hours and her life changed a lot. 
My school life didn`t change much
Her advancing to junior-high was the starting point for us becoming aware of  the differences in our two worlds.
.

 
She is Japanese and went to a school nearby where we lived.  I was Norwegian and had to go to the "Norwegian School in Kobe". 
Our school realities were two separate worlds.  
But after school we came together in a third world that was our own.I didn`t envy her the long hours, but I did envy her the uniform.  She looked so grown up.  So cool. 


She started learning english at this time. 
She hated the subject.  Just the word "English" made her feel guilty and miserable.
Ever since we were eight years old there were certain comments we had to endure almost every day.  
Comments about the colour of my hair and eyes, and comments about how lucky she was to be able to learn English for free.  
True, my hair and eyes had strange colors. 
But the part about the English was definitely not true.  
It was very annoying.  For both of us.  It made us both feel ashamed and miserable.
Her mother once, very sarcastically, commented that her daughter did not learn any English at all while her friends Japanese just got better every day.  For free! 
I did not quite know how to react but decided to do what I could, English wise.
However, we had better things to do with our limited time together.  Much better things.

Her summer vacation was long, but mine was longer. 
And! she had loads of homework to do. 
I was totally free from all scolastic duties.

My family went away to a cooler place for the summer months while her family, off course, stayed on in the heat.

There were always some time left of her school break after my family returned to Kobe after the holiday.   
Some days, but not many.  And the few we had, were very precious!  We had so much to catch up on and so much fun that had to be done.
She worked hard and did all her homework before I got back. 
All of it, except the English. 
That, we did together when I came back. 
I wrote the answers on a piece of paper and she copied it into her notebooks.  I checked all the multiple choises and told her, in Japanese, the content of the book she should have read. All in a few hours.
As we grew older and her homework load grew bigger I returned to the heat by myself a week or so prior to my parents, in order to be able to do her homework and have our fun before school would start again. 

I remember her and her mom on all her graduation days too. 
Graduation from grade school, junior and senior high.  I saw them off and envied my friend. 
She beautifully groomed and her mom in an elegant kimono joining other excited children with nervous mothers on their way to a solemn seremony. 

All this came back to me after talking with my boyfriend, this afternoon.  He lives across the street and we have been in love all his life. 
Today he came running to show me his brand new "randoseru".
The word "randoseru" originates from the dutch ransel, my electronic dictionary tells me, and means a schoolchild`s satchel. The kind you strap to your back.   The kind your grandparents buy for you.  (My electronic friend did not tell me that...)
It was bright blue, shining leather. 
Too big for his little, frail body.  
- Only two more nights to sleep and then it is April, he announced.   His face sparkled with joy and excitement while the  grandmother stood in the back ground, smiling, brimming full of pride.

I`m not sure if it was my little boyfriend who triggered this string of memories. 
It could also have been the graduation ceremony I saw in a news clip in the morning.  It could have been lying there like glowing ambers....
 
The clip showed a big school gym.  The gym was full of neatly folded futons and luggage and people sitting on the floor, watching.  Watching and holding their tears while six children, lined up in the front of the gym, struggeled to get through a school song.
The gym, which now is used as a shelter for earthquake victims, is part of a school in a town in Ibaraki prefecture. 
A little school in a little town.  
There used to be 107 small students in the little school.
The tsunami took 78 of them.
Six students are given their graduation diplomas.  The reporter does not say how many diplomas were supposed to be handed out.  
It is cold and the graduates, as well as teatchers and audience look as if they are wearing everything they have, at once.  Woolen hats, sweaters, towels around their necks in lack of mufflers. Sweaters on top of sweaters.  No beautiful kimonos, no dressed up mothers with strings of pearls around their necks, as is the custom.
The headmaster calles the names and the children come, one by one, to receive their diplomas.  They bow deeply in front of their headmaster, wipe their eyes with their sleeves and sit down on the gym floor again. 
The school song is sung without the assistance of any musical instrument.  But they sing.  From their hearts. With all the strength they can muster.

I don`t know what triggered my memory..... 
I just remembered. 





 

Nothing lasts for ever...

Nothing lasts forever. 
Not even my dentist-phobia.  Maybe it`s the language.
Maybe it`s the air.  Maybe it`s the dentis.  Maybe it`s me. 
I don`t know what it is, but I am cured of my phobia for dentists after the visit to the dentist in Kyoto today.
As if we do not have dentists on every corner in the city where I live too.......  But I was scared and had to go to someone recommended by someone I know... 
It was worth our 2 hours and 10 minute drive. 
Actually it didn`t even take that long but I will keep the actual driving time a secret.  For various reasons.
 
Before we left, this morning, I had time to watch the news. 
After updates on earthquakes, tsunami and nuclear plant issues the announcer lit up and presented this years first Sakura Report!  An event we all anticipate this time of the year. 
The plum trees have had their short blossom.  The peach trees are still in full bloom here and there. 
We soak in the scent and the colors with our souls. 
For as long as it lasts.

Next one on stage is the Sakura. 
The very symbol of how nothing lasts for ever. 
In this country I have learned to appreciate small things and brief moments. 
I have learned to focus on small areas of the big picture, in a good way.
On our morning walks, for instance, the big picture might not be so beautiful if captured in its whole by a camera lens...   There is an elevated highway cutting through the landscape, factories by the riverside... 
But I have learned to ignore them and focus on smaller areas that ARE beautiful.  Like when you look through a camera lens and choose what you want to include in the picture. 
And  there is so much beauty to be seen. 

I have also understood why the Sakura is such a big thing here. 
It is not only the beauty of the pink trees.
It is not only the message that spring is really here.  After all there are so many other beauties conveying the same message.

I think, the Sakura is treasured for its brief appearance on stage.  The terrific appearance is even more treasured because we all know that it can vanish in an instance. 
The wind cold become to eager or the skies could decide to rain.  And it would all be gone.  In an instance.

The awareness of each moment being precious, comes alive when everything you have worked and lived for can be wiped out any moment.  
Earthquakes, tsunami  and volcanoes leave deep footprints in peoples souls for generations.  The value of earthly possessions change and you learn to value......brief beauty. 
You learn that possessions will not be possessions for ever.
 
A phrase I often hear during the Sakura season is:
-So.... we got to view the Sakura together this year too,
didn`t we.
This year the line has got a new meaning. 

Masayuki is coming home on Wednesday. 
And if we are lucky, we will view the Sakura together this year too.

  

Tomorrow the winds of tomorrow will blow....

Today has been a day of preparation. 
Preparation for our trip to Kyoto, the cultural capital of our country.
The city every tourist, native as well as foreign, has to see. 
It is spring and sightseeing season and would normally be full of happy people. 
Normally.  But this spring is not normal.
Neither is the purpose of my visit to Kyoto.
I am going to the dentist!  And I am scared. 
Having survived earthquakes and other scares recently,
one should think a visit to the dentist should be a field trip.
It is not. 
Not for me. 
I am more scared of dentists than anything else I can think of.
Actually not the dentists themselves, although I must confess some of them terrify me.
It is what happens to one in that chair that is horrifying . 
The feeling of helpless terror.  The sounds. The needles. 
Why are we created with such frail installations as teeth?! 
Was there no better option available?   
And why do they always create trouble in most inconvenient times?

I have done everything practical to prepare for our 2 hour and 10 minute trip to the cultural capital.
The car is clean and the gasoline tank is brimming full.
The back seats are down and the futons in place.
If I get tired,  I just park the car and crawl to the back and go to sleep . 
Dog food and goodies for the road are stored in a well zipped bag, unavailable for nosey boys.
And water. 
Bottled water from our still non-radioactive water source.

All four of us have had our shower and washed our hair.
We are all fed, watered, walked, brushed and content,
well prepared for the road and new experiences in the capital of culture.

Tomorrow the winds of tomorrow will blow.
明日は明日の風が吹く

On the go.

They say I could blog on the go from my cell phone. 
I tried...but so far it has not hit home. 
Not that I am on the go.  Not yet. 
But who knows? 
My nomadic feet are already restless after 14 days self imposed curfew.  We have not been much away from our neighborhood since March 11. 
The day Mother Earth shook our island so violently. 
But I have to be in Kyoto on Monday.  12 o`clock sharp.
Very important appointment. 
I checked with Nabi no Oneesan, who told me it would take me 2 hours and 10 minutes to drive the 140 km down there.  Nabi is katakana English.  The origin of the word is navigator, abbreviated to navi.  
The Japanese language has no equivalent to the sound v, hence the mutation to Nabi.
Oneesan means big sister.
The Nabi has a very feminine, polite voice.  
Therefore I have named our car navigator, or GPS,
Nabi no Oneesan.
The Nabi no Oneesan tells me I can reach my appointment in 2 hours and 10 minutes and my nomadic feet start tapping.
All kinds of possible adventures race through my mind. 
If I am going to Kyoto,..... I might as well take a trip to Kobe, go to Osaka, visit this person, drop in at that place, go here, shop there... ..
I could sleep over at our usual hotel in Kobe where they welcome both four legged and two legged guests...
I call the hotel where they tell me that I am not the only one on the go these days.
They are full.  No empty rooms.  Not today, not tomorrow....We are very, very sorry, the lady says. 
We are regular guests and enjoy very good service.
They tell me that their hotel, and most other hotels, are full. Full of refugees from the disaster area up north.
I thank them for the great work they are doing, while my mind is racing for solutions. 
I could try hotels out in the countryside. 
Nabi no Oneesan will take me anywhere.  I don`t have to stay in the middle of any town.  The boys are happier in the countryside anyway.....
Due to my very limited ability to read Japanese my friend down the street sits at her computer, in her home and sends me links to pet-friendly hotels that I can call. 
I call all of them. 
They all say the same. 
The last hotel I call tells me they have a room but because of the guests being very jumpy and sleeping very poorly they are not happy to house dogs at the moment. 
-Barking may cause anxiety now, because of the trauma they just went through...I apologise so very much, the polite receptionist says in a beautiful Kansai dialect.
Again I give thanks for the great work they are doing. 
I hang up and I weep with. 
I weep with the people on the go.

I will go to Kyoto on Monday,
be there 12 o`clock sharp and return to our safe, warm home in 2 hours and 10 minutes. 
Never have I been so grateful for our safe and warm home. 
Never have I been so grateful for not being on the go. 

Weeping WITH the weeping...

Long, long ago I knew an old lady named Alma Halse.  
At the time, I was a very little girl.  She, Alma Halse, was about the age that I am now.  In my eyes, very old. 
She was the founder, administrator and the all mighty of an orphanage in Alta, North Norway.  The orphanage does not exsist in that form any more.  Neither does she.  However, both are still alive in the form of memories in a lot of hearts. Mine included.  In various ways. 
My strongest memory of Alma Halse is the bags under her eyes.  
To me and my memory, she looked huge like a bear. 
A very sad, huge bear.  
She could smile, but the smile was sad. 
And those bags under her eyes! 
I asked my father what they were. 
-Why does she have those bags under her eyes? 
-Because she weeps a lot, was the answer. 
I was no different from every other child and had a new question for every answer I got. 
-Why does she weep so much?
-She weeps with the sad, the hopeless, the lost, the found, the lonely, the homeless, the suffering, the abandoned, the abondoner, the children, the parents,  the old, the tired, the hungry, the cold, the lost, the homeless, the....  
-She weeps with everyone.
-She weeps with everyone and everything.  
I do not remember if I had a question to that one. 
I don`t think so.
I only know that I did like Mary and hid the words in my heart.
Later on I heard about and saw pictures of Golda Meir. 
I thought she looked a lot like Alma Halse.
Even later on, I also understood that there is a difference between weeping FOR and weeping WITH.
The last fourteen days I have wept and weep a lot with....
In fourteen days the bags beneath my eyes will match those of  Alma Halse and Golda Meir...
I wonder how little Mother Theresa, in all the misery, managed to stay so beautiful .... 


 

14 days after the tsunami...

13 days have passed.   13 days of being on the alert.   
13 days of being grateful for being safe.  13 days of crying for the ones who are left with less than nothing.  13 days of wondering if it is safe to take a drive.  13 days of wondering why help does not arrive faster .  13 days and 14 nights.

It is cold outside today. 
It is colder in Touhoku.
We, in the safe zone,  greet each other with ...-Cold today, isn`t it....up north they don`t even have fuel today either...
Survivors look into the TV cameras, delivering messages to family or friends that might be watching....An old man sobs saying that -if only Mother was still here....
-Parents without their children and children without their parents.
-Dogs without owners and owners without their dogs.
-A little boy tells us that he is ashamed for complaining about his mother making hamburgers for dinner 15 days ago.  Now he would be happy with just a little one... just a tiny hamburger.
-Drinking water in Tokyo is reported to show radioactive....
-Gaddafi has taken over the main role of the global news picture.....
While my three boys sleep, not aware of any of all this, on the couch.
  
Today is day 14.

I`ll go smell my garden. 
What could be more important than that, right now.  
     
I can hear some one say  "Nothing Grete, nothing!"